Yes ok I didn’t get round to finishing before. This was partially due to the network failure as I’d suspected but it did come back on later but it was too late as far as I was concerned. Since then I’ve had loads of network outage so haven’t been able to get on at all, which has been irritating as I have typically had things I wanted to say.
Blog update, I got another comment, and a mention on somebody else’s blog, the call goes out to who is worth a read and usually more prolific than me so you get a bit more for your html money. I had commented on his Public Transport Rant and added some Private Transport Rant of my own which he kindly asked if he could put on his site on his next one. Anyway it got me thinking about the morons and assorted maniacs I have encountered on the road every day for the last 4 years. Here are some more of them:

  • Middle-lane Mobile mondeo man -sits on his phone, no hands free, and just veers across you every now and again, not enough to hit you but just enough to make you lose control of your bodily functions.
    Action: In Summer the best course is to have a tape of Bach organ fugues which can be cranked up on the stereo to hamper his conversation. (Please remember earplugs are essential kit for the strategic driver)

    The Sidewinder -Now this one can be in most cars, Vectras, Golfs, Saabs and XR3s tend to be favourite. Distinctive by his slipstreaming manoeuvres and ability to carve up 3 lanes of almost solid traffic.
    Action: Now normally tailgating is frowned upon but this instance is an exception, one is allowed to block the sidewinder by careful acceleration to cut off his escape route, it should be made clear that the person in front should be aware of this tactic before deployment to prevent any nasty incident.

    Van man – Don’t be fooled it doesn’t need to be white, though this is the most common incarnation. There are no defined rules to govern this driver, capable of any road manoeuvre at any time and uses his skills with more frequency than an FM radio.
    Action: Avoid, you can’t beat him, it isn’t his van and he knows it, the best you can hope for is he’ll pick on someone his on size and get crushed by a 7.5 tonner.

    The 7.5 Tonner – Van man with a qualification, principally an LGV license but not trusted by his firm to take out any larger vehicle. Capable of much the same road sense as when he drove a van, he can’t drive it as fast but can do more damage.
    Action: Slightly easier to deal with as generally you have enough time to get out of the way and pass at least 2 lanes away.

    The ladies aren’t immune either and there are very particular types of women drivers too, now I’m not going to get gender biased here because by nature of the fact that there are more men on the road than woman to my mind clearly proves there are more male maniacs than female but the women are there and some just as bad:

    Mini Cooper Girl – Mini Cooper girl on the whole is relatively benign and on the motorway is too scared of damaging her car to attempt any of the more complex modi operandi but in town can be liable to pull out without looking or not pay attention to the way she’s going if Annabel is in the passenger seat.
    Action: Not worth bothering with except in town where if you think “surely she isn’t going to do that” she probably will.

    BMW 4×4 Woman – If you’ve got an off-road vehicle, get off the fucking road, drive to London through the bloody fields, you drive as if you were anyway. You’ll only see her in this during the week ‘cos hubby’s in his silver merc.*
    Action: For the brave…run her off the fecking road and see how she fares!

*See ‘Silver Merc Man’ @Bob Red’s

Original Comments:

Bob Red made this comment,
Nice blog dom! I especially liked the 7.5 tonner and BMW 4×4 woman. an artic tried to overtake me on the approach to a roundabout the other day and had no other choice but to slam on the anchors, or get the word “sainsburys” tattooed on the side of my car! the bastard! Keep up the good work! Im publishing the ones you sent me tomorrow, and then ill link to your site for these ones! Many thanks again!
Bob Red
comment added :: {ts ‘2004-02-29 15:50:08’} GMT+01

moog made this comment,
its all so true, i get so fucked off with the twats on the roads these days!i hate the mothers takin their 1 kid to school in a BUS…
Visit me @
comment added :: {ts ‘2004-02-29 16:21:46’} GMT+01