Having seen Fred Zeppelin’s Top 2
Devastatin’ Dave
“Don’t mess with Dave he’s devastatin”
“This is Tino, he wants to be your friend!”

I think Devastatin’ Dave the Turntable Slave and the very disturbing Tino are tough to beat, but here are my submissions. There’s a common theme with a number of them and they bring the question to mind ‘you think Islam has a funny position on music?’ You may have seen some if not all of these before but I hadn’t and I was feeling acerbic so the comments are all mine. I hope you enjoy reading them, I certainly had a laugh composing flippant remarks.

Aubrey Ghent & Friends
Aubrey Ghent & Friends- Can’t Nobody Do Me Like Jesus
Poor Aubrey found it tough to shake off the unfounded allegations of necrophilia after this album came out, it explains why in the photoshoot for the cover he only had one friend left.

Millie Jackson
Millie Jackson – Back to the Shit
Oh I know how she feels but looking at Millie and some of her other album covers one wonders whether she was ever away from the shit in the first place.

The Louvin Brothers
The Louvin Brothers – Satan is Real
Now, I wasn’t sure whether this was an album cover or a newflash, I’m tempted to say it’s hot stuff whichever! Evidently this was The Louvin Brother’s second posthumous album recorded from beyond the grave. it is comforting to know that they ended up where they belonged.

Country Church
Country Church
Run Dougal, Run, quite fast, quite fast!

Geraldine & Ricky
Geraldine & Ricky – Trees Talk Too
An interesting one this one a wooden singer and the other a ventriloquist dummy, the embodyment of their albums name. That being said they are obviously from one of the nasty haunted forests you always used to read about.

The Cooper Family
The Cooper Family -I’m God’s Child
Jesus’ Illegitimate siblings, what an advert for divine parentage they are. They’ll be Damascine conversions all over the world! Who’s the geezer there tho’ it can’t surely be Him well bugger me!

Happy Louie, Julia & The Boys
Happy Louie, Julia & The Boys -Lots of Love and Peace
Louie’s just happy because he got to Julia first, the boys get sloppy seconds, Julia’s not choosy and she’s even wearing her easy access skirt for the occasion, what a gal!

Nelson – Because they can
I wasn’t sure what to make of this one either -the picture of dogs and ‘Because they can’ is this an auto blow job reference or alluding to that fact that Nelson can pass for dogs, I know not.

Father White
Father Robert White – Reverend in Rythym
Oh yes the good old days of pastoral care, Reverend in rythym -rythym musically or rythym method he doesn’t make this clear but you know that pipe has been places you don’t want to even think about, and judging by his expression the good Father is thinking about them right now. He wants you to join his flock.

Bruce Yelton & Upbound
Butch Yelton & Upbound – Swing that gospel axe.
It’s Judgement Day down on the ranch. One presumes Butch is the one yielding the gospel axe and by the looks of his Simon Bates meets Hank Marvin appearance Upbound are about find out whether they live up to their name sooner than they might have expected. Looking at them this may come under the heading of a mercy killing, just so long as Butch is removed from society afterwards everyone’ll be happy.

USAF Sound Effects
Sound Effects – US Airforce Firepower
A reentry to the charts due to the sales in Baghdad it was of course a smash hit first time around in Vietnam. Relive those war sounds all over again, play with your friends the “Who can spot the B-52 noise” For the Baghdad listener this is an invaluable reference tool spin the disk up when you hear the airraid warnings and you too can predetirmine exactly which piece of hardware is responsible for totalling your village.

Music For Hubby
Music to keep your husband happy
Oh yes, hot ‘n’ steamy stuff, can’t you just feel the sex? There was life in the days before Viagra. And you wonder why your Grandad could be a miserable old git?

Freddie Gage
Freddie Gage -All My Friends are Dead
My personal favourite, the question is was Freddie directly responsible for all his friends being dead or was it just a sad coincidence. Those boots can’t have helped, nor his penchant for hanging around graveyards.

Lt Larry Blocker
2nd Lt. Larry Blocker – I Found the Answer
Looking like that one wonders what the hell Larry thought the question was.

If The Bomb Falls
If The Bomb Falls
Now this was a real family favourite, everyone gathering round after Sunday roast and chatting about the apocalypse, when a demented madman had his finger on the button, happy days eh?

Surprisingly enough Joyce is still looking for love and has price frozen herself at 50c in an effort to attract it.

More Dodgy LPs

Original Comments:

A visitor made this comment,
I’m going to have nightmares now thanks to you.

comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-07 02:24:45’} GMT+01

A visitor made this comment,
do these shits really exist?
heck. i swear, if i’d seen one, it’ll go down the fire immediately. these are killers!!!


comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-07 02:55:41′} GMT+01

haywood made this comment,
Those Louvin bros’ give me the FEAR.
I like where you put the banner, i think it works well there.
okay back to drawing up a charter for the blog alliance.
Haywood AKA… well i have to many to name

Visit me @ http://cjh9999.blog-city.com

comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-07 04:46:56’} GMT+01

ale2000 made this comment,
hey redbaron- thanks for being my first commenter. i’m actually far from being done with the phd since on average- it takes about 5-6 years to complete. i just finished the first year…although i still have loads of work to do even before i can even say i’m done this semester.
comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-07 16:34:44’} GMT+01

Lizard Breath made this comment,
ok – I shall not sleep for at least 2 – maybe even 3 days now….eewwwww

comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-07 21:28:41’} GMT+01

A visitor made this comment,
ummm . . . I can explain the Nelson album cover if you’d like . . . scary but true . . .

comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-14 05:32:28’} GMT+01

A visitor made this comment,
Thank you. Seriously, I laughed out loud at all of these.

comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-24 09:11:25’} GMT+01

A visitor made this comment,
oh such classics you have there!! now listen, i was wondering if i could ask a small favour and steal the ‘music to keep your husband happy’ jpg?
i would of course publicly credit you as the source. whaddya say boyo? whaddya say??



comment added :: {ts ‘2004-06-20 20:02:04’} GMT+01

Jon Wicker made this comment,
This is great. Where did you find all of these? Too many long hours on the internet?
[Redbaron responds – Yeah that and a mispent youth in record shops so I know these things actually exist!]

comment added :: {ts ‘2004-08-09 02:23:51’} GMT+01

Dave Knybel made this comment,
These are great!
comment added :: {ts ‘2007-02-21 03:03:12’} GMT+01