I’ve been a bit snowed under today so although I have some blogs in draft I haven’t really time to finish them properly. So here’s one I’ve been sitting on for just such an occasion.

Since it appears to be all the rage at the mo’ and bearing in mind I have already given you the basic introduction bit as to who I am here are some slightly odder facts.

Strange things you wouldn’t know about the Baron by looking at him.

1. For as long as he can remember the Baron has only ever been able to breathe out of one nostril, whilst at school he thought this was normal in later life it transpires much to his surprise that most people can breath out of both -except Daniella Westbrook ‘cos she’s only got one anyway!. The Baron cannot remember whether it is a birth thing or came about when clonked on the nose by whatever it was that made his nose go on a wonk when very young. The Baron’s Father has never had a sense of smell.

2. The Baron has 2 distinguishing marks: The first a raised scar on the forehead comes from taking Asterix in Spain a little too seriously and passing out; the second just below the lip comes the same year when getting too friendly with a Rhodesian Ridgeback Dog who decided that the Baron might make a suitable snack before dinner.

3. The Baron has had an article published in a global publication and can therefore claim to be a published writer, sadly the proposed payment never materialised and so he cannot claim to be a professional writer! The article was laboriously dull and the publication not much better.

4. The Baron has qualifications in drinking wine! This is not where the name Red Baron comes from!

5. The Baron was pronounced ‘educationally subnormal’ at the age of 11 and his relationship with various scholastic institutions continued along roughly similar lines until discovering in a damascine-like conversion in final year at University that one had to actually do some work. As a consequence of this seeing the light the Baron was rewarded with a quite decent BA Hons degree much to the astonishment of friends and family.

6. The Baron does not drink Coffee, ever. The Baron has drunk a total of 7 cups of coffee in his lifetime including 3 Espressos in 1 day (he counts the experiences of said occasion as part of the drug-induced memories of his past) However the Baron enjoys the smell of freshly-ground coffee. The Baron drinks approximately 10-15 cups of tea a day, the prospect of a tea shortage does not compute and why would you make me think about such nasty things on my own blog anyway? No I don’t have a problem and do you want a fight and who’s got the fucking assam?!

7. Apparently I have quite hairy arms according to someone who shall remain nameless purely due to the impending legal action that I shall be taking for slander not to mention defamation of character, “Wolfman” I think the phrase was, I mean the nerve as if having to howl at the moon every 4 weeks wasn’t bad enough, she was bloody lucky I wasn’t feeling peckish at the time owing to having just consumed a large steak sandwich. I put this in the section ‘Things you wouldn’t know about the Baron by looking at him’ because it isn’t something that many people comment on, I also usually have my arms covered up tho’ not I hasten to add because they’re hairy! Altho’ now of course I shall be especially careful to ensure all T-Shirt purchases are long-sleeved! Anyone else comments on the Baron’s arms they’re going to get a fang where it hurts!

8. The Baron has in his time dabbled with narcotics, he no longer does chemicals out of choice after a rather bad experience and no longer smokes weed more out of cicumstance ‘cos no fucker ever seems to have any!

9. The Baron has never slept with a non-European and only ever slept with 1 English person. This is something the Baron intends to rectify just so as to make sure no-one can accuse me of racism!

10. the Baron feels he has revealed quite enough information this month and that’s all you’re getting for now.

Song of the Day – Zero 7 ~ Somersault

Original Comments:

Rachel made this comment,
i think the baron has revealed plenty. i now know more than i ever was wondering. thank you! as far as the blog-a-thon is concerned, i don’t know if i have the discipline to go consecutively for a hundred days. it’s quite weird though! i started writing about an hour ago, and once i started, i couldn’t stop! i got almost six pages done, it was so weird!
Visit me @ http://palmysinfullbloom.blog-city.com

comment added :: 28th June 2004, 03:12 GMT+01
protagonist made this comment,
i feel like i know you now red baron. this is gaijin, not paradox. you should get that nose looked into. because redundancy is good in my opinion. also you should not take Asterix too seriously any more if it bites you in the ass like it did. good luck sleeping with women of any race, in the end, as Shel Silverstein once noted, we all look the same when we turn out the lights. look, but maybe not feel…
comment added :: 28th June 2004, 07:27 GMT+01
Bob Red made this comment,
Excellent blog mate!
I have to agree with you on the coffee front, that stuff smells better than it tastes!
But as for wine, i can only distingush 3 types; red, white, and grape juice.
comment added :: 28th June 2004, 22:00 GMT+01
Tine made this comment,
Tine has drunk a total of 7 cups of tea. rasberry, lemon, green, earl gray and that’s about it. I just don’t like the taste or the smell of tea. :/
Visit me @ http://tine.blog-city.com

comment added :: 28th June 2004, 22:47 GMT+01
Katie made this comment,
Boring…..i knew all that already where’s the really juicy stuff?
PS I’m back, just been on a 4 day bender oops…
Visit me @ http://screamtoasigh.blog-city.com

[Redbaron responds – you may have known it all dear but there are those who didn’t. You think yourself lucky.]

comment added :: 29th June 2004, 19:55 GMT+01