Well in light of criticism as to the objectivity of my reporting on policemen and Big John posting a positive police story I thought it only fair to add one of my own and this should even things out so I don’t get hunted down by my local filth.

My story takes place in Germany, in Munich in fact, not usually known for producing many positive police stories but there you go. This took place in 1992 when I lived there. It was a Saturday night, I had been across the other side of the city on the lash at a festival with some old friends, so I returned home somewhat half cut. I could have taken the underground to the end station where there was a dedicated taxi rank, but this was far from home so would cost a fortune even if I would be going home in a merc. So I got the last overground train which dropped me off about 8 miles from home at around 1.30am. There was no taxi rank but there were 2 yugoslav girls standing on the street corner -I did think they might be ladies of the night! I rang a taxi company I knew but they couldn’t get anyone and I then rang all the ones on the cards in the phone box and no-one had a cab available for at least an hour. So I went and joined the yugoslavs who, it transpired were also waiting for a taxi. Meantime a plod car drives past -slowly, you know checking us out. So there’s not a taxi in sight and it’s a bit cold and altho’ I’m still a bit pissed the sobering up process has begun. I tried directory enquiries and got some more numbers but no luck. So it’s now about 2.30am and the plod drive past again, this time one of them sticks his mush out the window and ask what is going on, the German equivalent of ‘Elo elo what’s going on ‘ere then?’! So I say we’re just waiting for a taxi and they look me over and the yugos and I can tell what they’re thinking -after all I was on that wavelength when I first saw them except now in the eyes of the plod I’m the pimp. So semi-satisfied with my explanation off they go.

Now when German plod are interested in you you’d be forgiven for getting a bit nervous -2 months earlier I’d been frisked by 2 very burly pistol-toting plod and it gave me the screaming hab-dabs. The other thing is Bavarians in general are not always known as being the most gracious hosts when it comes to foreigners, Munich itself is ok but the surrounding areas can be bad. Anyway there is a distinct lack of Taxis so when the plod turn up again about 45 mins later we’re all still there and they’re now smelling a rat (a rat that isn’t there I hasten to add). So I’m asked what are you really doing and I repeat that I’m waiting for a taxi, “where do you live” they ask I tell them, “yeah I know it” the driver says “get in, it’s started to rain, can’t have you hanging around here all night.” I ask them about the Yugoslavs, they ask me where they’re going I say I don’t know, they ask them and it transpires one is local the other is in the next settlement. “Right, you can walk” they say to the local one “you’d better get in with him” they say to the other one gesticulating at me. As we are getting in, and after an almost embarrassing moment involving the peaked cap, a seat and a large half-cut Irishman, a taxi comes over the hill, “Everybody out” says the driver so we get out, the taxi roars past. “This isn’t funny” the driver retorts, “everyone back in again!”

Anyway we get going and after a couple of questions to me about who I am what nationality and what my job is -German plod are obsessed with your job “Was haben Sie für Beruf?” Then they really start to grill the Yugoslav girl and ask for papers etc. Anyway after dropping her off they kind of relax and start pissing about with the cars on the Landstraße watching them hoon along until they spot the green and white. As they drop me off they say “now in future make sure you have a taxi lined up” to which the alcohol propells me to say, “can’t I ring you, after all the number is easy to remember and the leather seats were rather comfortable.” They saw the joke enough not to take me down the station for a spell in a cell!

Of course in Germany everybody stays up late so my mates were still up when I returned and they shat themselves when they saw the plod car, ho ho ho, I said I had been arrested for being a foreigner and beaten up a bit! The Hungarians were agast! I did explain the real chain of events eventually since the plod had been friendly in an official Germanic militaristic sort of way!

So there you go, a positive Police story, sorry it didn’t come from here but my run ins with the plod in this country have not been in such pleasant circumstances but that’s another story.

Song Of The Day – U2 ~ Miss Sarejevo

Original Comments:

Rachel made this comment,
ahh, a positive police story, nice to know they still exhist. does this mean you’re over the “one word title” phase, or was this just a break…?
Visit me @ http://palmysinfullbloom.blog-city.com

comment added :: 4th July 2004, 01:06 GMT+01
A visitor made this comment,
What was the negative police story?

comment added :: 4th July 2004, 13:02 GMT+01
Bob Red made this comment,
Ive been to germany, and i can well understand why anyone with authority over there could be considered scary!
I saw a couple of guys on a train looking like they were in the militia, complete with combat trousers, bomber jackets, berets and big ol army boots. Who were they?
Ticket inspectors…
Visit me @ http://bobred.blog-city.com

[Redbaron responds -Nah they’d have shot you if they’d been ‘Kontroller’ they’re nasty bastards! They could have been Bundeswehr, it’s the berets that puzzle me, not too many Germans wear berets. If they had white bootlaces that would have been nasty but I don’t suspect they did unless they were Schwarz-Weissen with a new code. My knowledge of the Fachos is mainly from the East where I used to live]

comment added :: 4th July 2004, 23:31 GMT+01