Things are rolling to some degree of conclusion in many issues and it is going to result in a seismic shift in my circumstances whatever the outcome. It is, however, not proving an easy process and I am starting to feel extremely pressured.

Financially things are not good, I had a letter from the bailiffs today saying that they were going to take my stuff, the c*nts had sent it 2nd class that’s how much dignity you get when you’re in the shit. They wanted to come round Tuesday or Wednesday evening but they didn’t state whether that was the Tuesday or Wednesday coming or the ones just gone, if they actually come out they charge you more money in addition to the £40 “handling fee” that you have to pay for them getting involved in the first place. I was almost inclined to let the fuckers come, after all I’m spending all my time listing shite on ebay and they want to take all my stuff down the local auction house (altho’ I know there isn’t a local auction house) and sell it all off. Problem is I’d probably get al l the shite back and the only things that’d sell would be my G4 and my vinyl collection and I’m sorry but I’ll assault someone before they’re going to get my vinyl.

This has all happened as a result of me having been unable over the summer to pay off some council tax arrears that I’ve got, the council tax here is high and it was a bridge too far when I initially moved out on my own, I kind of sorted it but it hasn’t always been possible to come up with the extra £60 a month. I tried ringing the council who were as much good as a fire extinguisher at Tchernobyl, they refused to do anything and interestingly they had failed to even inform the bailiffs about the £60 I paid at the end of July and the further £60 I paid yesterday. You really are the lowest form of life when in debt, your opinion counts for bollocks because they know that they can just tell you to piss off and you’re the one who’s shafted.

I managed after nearly an hour to sort out a payment plan with the bailiffs which should result in me being financially even more crippled but at least keeping my vinyl! In 5 months time tho’ I can chalk that one off.

And then there’s the Ex who has been in a curious mood since the fireworks a couple of weeks ago, I thought things had straightened to the point where I made myself clear but perhaps not because now she wants a talk and she wants to meet on Saturday night and says she can’t talk to me about it without having a couple of glasses of wine. Oh shit! I have a very nasty feeling about this that it’s going to end in tears, probably hers which means not only am I going to feel like the bastard but I’m going to be accused of making the final decision of walking away when I could have chosen to go back to my family. And what is it she wishes to discuss. The mind boggles and I have a number of theories ranging from the ludicrous to the terrifying but whatever it is I am facing the prospect of Saturday like the condemned man.

Sadly her timing couldn’t be less capricious as due to the financial stress and a belief that I have no other option but to start getting on and living the rest of my life I decided that I have little alternative but to move nearer work. They will pay relocation expenses and I will save around £250 minimum a month not having to drive 120 miles a day. This is not including the reduction in insurance, frequency of service intervals, tyre changes etc. Furthermore it will allow me to better integrate socially into my new(ish) place of work. It would mean basically moving on in all senses, it is not a decision to be taken lightly as my children will undoubtedly suffer and what I have to figure out is by how much and is it worth it in the long-term for the benefits they will get. I had to do this before when I left 2 years ago and it had taken me about 18 months to come to the decision and I do think it was the hardest thing I had done in my life. I am not ashamed to say I wept after I’d put my daughter to bed the night I moved the last of my stuff out.

Song Of The Day – Steppenwolf ~ Pusher

Original Comments:

Rachel made this comment,
wow, red, this came on quick. it sounds like you took the right actions when you realized that something had to be done, and for that, it shows that you’re both mature and unafraid to do what’s right even though it may suck. the fact that you put it on your blog, open for discussion among our blogging community, means your open for suggestions and opinions. i really can’t say anything that you wouldn’t know, or something that you haven’t heard, except that if you want to throw something my way, you know the way to my blog. 🙂
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comment added :: 3rd September 2004, 02:25 GMT+01
Rina made this comment,
I second Rachel’s comment. I know I personally and impressed you would leave this open for people to talk about.
We’re here behind you all the way. I know I’m here to listen even if I haven’t anything helpful or even remotely intelligent to say.

Golden Touch

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comment added :: 3rd September 2004, 04:39 GMT+01
Red Baron made this comment,
Thanks Rach and Rina, I appreciate that, I am writing this as a new comment because that takes the comments to 667 and there have been rather too many 6s knocking around at the moment, my blog was on 10666 this morning and my car on 66666 not long ago. As if I needed anymore portents of doom!
comment added :: 3rd September 2004, 12:06 GMT+01
A visitor made this comment,
That’s some blog Baron. I do feel for you.

comment added :: 3rd September 2004, 17:06 GMT+01
Rina made this comment,
Most people go for the milestones like 250, 500, etc. You hit the evil ones. What can you do, though? It’s a part of you at this point.
Now, I’m going to aim for 666! I just think it’s humourous.

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comment added :: 3rd September 2004, 19:21 GMT+01
A visitor made this comment,
Hope you can sort it out as painlessly as possible for all concerned, Red. Wishing you all the best.
Natalie []

comment added :: 3rd September 2004, 20:50 GMT+01
Katie made this comment,
Worried about you you haven’t been answering the phone- it’s going straight to answerphone and with all this in the air, hoped I could help a little, I’m not only here to rant at you but to be there for you as well. You know where I am. Lots of love.
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comment added :: 3rd September 2004, 22:31 GMT+01