I was going to entitle this blog ‘The Wanderer’ -A glamorous sounding title to be sure but when you look at the comparatives, it is akin to ‘The Journeyman’ or ‘The Rover’ or perhaps only a step by inference from a ‘Jack of all trades’ (and critically ‘Master of none’). The implication is of one who has not yet found his/her niche and crucially is unable to rest until s/he has done so. Can this search for inner peace ever be resolved? Can we find that comfort zone, the place to put down roots and be happy? Or is there something in us that strives for more, always more, never satisfied? Is the world divided into those who have and are reconciled to what life has given them and those who feel they have not enough regardless of the logic of this argument?

Many people can be content with comparatively little (Maybe because they have little choice), and others are disaffected even though they have much. Where is the logic in that, does it come down to person-type? If so does this mean that if you are not able to sit back and be moderately content at what you have done now that you may never be able to do so?

I always thought the striving for the dream was worth something but if you don’t achieve it and you end up with nothing would you look back with the benefit of hindsight and still think it? Of course if you don’t try then you get to live with the what if’s for the rest of your life. It’s a bit of a dilemma. And is there a degree of pre-destiny based on the character type of who you are? Are there those of us who are destined to have wanderlust and never truly be able to settle? Or is it a question of finding the right person and/or the right place? Is this a quest that has an end, is what I’m really trying to say, I mean if I’m to be the Journeyman then ok I think I may be able to come to terms with it but it’ll take time and reflection to let it sink in. I don’t want to think that there’s a chance of it not being so only to find as time goes on it looks increasingly unlikely it would be tough disappointment.

Oh and the reason I decided to go for Der Mann im Pyjamas, well as I got into bed it felt cold and I thought, shit it’s only september, any worse than this and it’ll have to be the pyjamas, that reminded me of a German film I once saw called …. yes you’re ahead of me there. It was about a man who only wanted to go and get a pack of fags which in Germany are available from machines on street corners. Things don’t go according to plan. I remember it being very funny but I don’t know whether this is the rose-tinted view of nostalgia, after all it was a German film and the Germans are not known for there subtle humour! Having said that I looked it up on the net and found a reference here,(The site’s in German and you have to put the film title in the search field) and it did have Otto Sander and Elke Sommer in which is a good sign that I may have been right. Since no-one else has ever seen or heard of the film I guess my questions will go largely unanswered unless I can one day get hold of a copy if such a thing exists. It was that sort of reflection that made my brain start to tick over and give rise to the blog, the substance of which you see above. Typical really, I go to bed early thinking that I may do myself some good and my brain turns around and says “oi what you playing at, I haven’t finished yet’ and proceeds to fill my head with reflective thoughts and such like. I lie in bed in the dark for a while knowing that I have the choice, I can keep the words or I can try to ignore it and try to go to sleep and lose the words, but I am a writer for no other reason than this -that I must keep the words, and I get out of bed and I write and I go to bed at the usual time which is too late… again.

[This is also my 200th entry, not the 200th entry you will have seen it’s true, you may choose to see that as a good thing. I have a few things in draft, some will see the light of day, others may not. But chronologically this is my 200th so bottles of Bolly all round! As a celebration at least I get to go and see my dentist tomorrow!]

Song Of The Day – Zero 7 ~ Somersault

Original Comments:

A visitor made this comment,
Aren’t we all wanderers, though? Does anyone ever arrive? Each new effort just brings us to a new landing on a never-ending staircase. The whole “it’s the journey, not the destination” deal. I think there is an innate human drive to be better than before, a burr under the saddle of the horse of progress. (Oh my god, I’m dying at that stinker of a metaphor.) I also think there’s a human habit of dissatisfaction that can be corrosive. The former is productive, the later not so much.
Kristie [kristiesgu@gmail.com]

comment added :: 15th September 2004, 23:47 GMT+01
Rachel made this comment,
i’m partial to this title. much better than the other options. last night, i was so cold, i was wearing three pairs of pants. if it’s this cold in september, i’m going to DIE come december!
Visit me @ http://palmysinfullbloom.blog-city.com

comment added :: 16th September 2004, 00:59 GMT+01
Pimme made this comment,
I’ve always been a wanderer, always searching for the meaning of my life and my next adventure. I can relate! :^)
We can still sleep with the windows open here. Hehe. ;^)

Visit me @ http://pimme.blog-city.com

comment added :: 16th September 2004, 03:49 GMT+01
A visitor made this comment,
i haven’t been able to figure out whether its better to have a dream in the first place or not. i refuse to admit to anyone, even myself, that i have ANY dreams or aims, because the fear of failure to achieve it is so great.
and i think there are those of us who will be wanderers forever, and perhaps those who will never wander, and those who will be in between and go back and forth…

perhaps we just need a single anchor in life. for some people, its another person, and so they stay or go where that person is, and for others it is a place and thats where they stay and some people are self-sufficient and are their own anchors (may be) and they’re the freest of all and are the wanderers.

actually, ignore me, i’m just talking outta my ass.

sarah [sarah.a@gmail.com]

[Redbaron responds – On the contrary Twin of mine, I think your reflections were quite deep.]

comment added :: 16th September 2004, 13:10 GMT+01
Rachel made this comment,
but, on a more serious note, i can relate to what you’re saying. i am quite the wanderer. i am constantly saying that i don’t know what’s keeping me where i am, when i know that i could be better suited else where. i just don’t think there’s anything for me here.
Visit me @ http://palmysinfullbloom.blog-city.com

comment added :: 17th September 2004, 02:55 GMT+01