Bloody inconsiderate fuckwits I’m sick of them, it’s the little things that are so unnecessary but can be so bloody annoying. Why, why don’t people fecking just think, just spare a fleeting moment for the rest of humanity and stop doing really really stupid things that have no bloody point to them.

So let’s begin:

Firstly the Bin men – Under normal circumstances I am pretty laid back about bin men, I don’t fuss anymore than most people when stuck behind the bin lorries on the street but the ones here are ‘gettin me total vex’ as the yoof might put it (I have absolutely no idea why I chose to put that in!). Firstly I put my bin in the same sort of place on the driveway as the people next door – about half way down so herself and I could still get in the car and go to work. Only this is apparently not good enough for the bin men, oh no, the bin must be on the edge of the property adjacent to the street and the fuckers didn’t take my bin. I had to ring the flipping council to ge them to come next day to empty the bin which is just absurd. The council said to be meticulous as to where I put the bin to ensure they take it in future. So now I must try to navigate my car out of the drive without dinging the passenger wing mirror which is no mean feat. As if this were not bad enough I now have to suffer the intense irritation of finding that when I return from work in the evening the fuckers have put the bin on the other side of the driveway which means I have to stop the car at the side of the road, get out, move the fucking bin in order to get back into the car and drive it up to the house because the street is a no parking zone. I mean what are the bastards doing, it is in fact easier to put the bin back on the side whence it came thus at least enabling a car to drive on the driveway albeit carefully, but no, they have to put it where it is clearly a complete obstruction. It’s just plain bloody-mindedness, I mean I know there are sometimes rather stinky nappies and shit in there but that’s not strictly my fault I mean they are supposed to take the rubbish away, what else am I supposed to do, bury it in my own back garden landfill or something?!

Next comes the Paper boy – Ok you little fecker, if I come home early one evening and catch you, you little twonk, I’m going to knock seven shades of shite out of you because you’re costing me a fucking fortune. Why, you ask is the paper boy responsible for such vitriol? Well, the little shite puts the paper in the letterbox but refuses to push all the way through thus leaving the letter box open for hours, the house therefore resembling an igloo when I return despite my efforts to have the heating come on before I get back. As if it isn’t bad enough living North of Watford where it’s cold anyway, I now get to be Nanook of the bleeding North in my own house. What is the point? Does the little bollocks gain anything from not pushing the paper all the way in? No of course not, in fact the net result is that on days when there’s been rain I get a wet patch on the carpet in the hall and a nice soggy-ended paper into the bargain so perhaps it is a badly-concealed attempt to make me use more papier-maché? I could understand it if my letter box was quite snappy but it isn’t at all, I’ve had to put blue tack on the inside to stop it blowing in the evening and making a racket.

Finally for today -Smoking ads – Will you fucking stop going on about smoking you bastards, it’s everywhere I turn, every fecking billboard, every fecking ad break on the TV, I have been doing well for nearly 2 years now not a single lapse and the cravings had gone down to practically nothing at all and now I can’t escape thinking about fags because of the bastards trying to stop people smoking AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGH! I have had far more problems with the adverts following me everywhere than I have had recently with people sitting smoking in the bloody pub! Just leave me alone, it’s like dangling a syringe or some foil and a lighter in front of a former addict saying “finding it hard to give up the smack? We can help, oh and here’s a tasty reminder of chasing the dragon for those of you who already gave up, mmmm lovely skag!” Of course this may not seem as far-fetched now since apparently giving up heroin is now a spectator sport and being shown on Channel 4 every night this week.

All in all it isn’t hard, surely, I mean am I being unreasonable seriously? It seems utterly endemic with the lack of thought and care for those around us that is so synonymous with the modern Western world. The causes of this malaise are numerous, in the first 2 instances I have cited it is the “couldn’t give a toss” mentality whilst in the case of the smoking ads it is the fact that those making the decisions are far too important to possibly waste time thinking about how the hoi polloi might be affected. Bastards, fecking lot of them, wait ’til the revolution comes eh, I’ll fecking show ’em!

Right time for bed, mutter, grumble!

Song Of The Day ~ Alphaville – Big In Japan

Original Comments:

Kristie made this comment,
I think your bin in the way of your driveway was payback for making them come out a second day; those garbage men are wily, and not without vengeance in their hearts.
I would kill to have one decent paperboy. Here, they don’t hire kids anymore, and supposed adults deliver it. Frankly, I think we did better with the 13-year-olds. Every couple of months, we would inexplicably NOT get the paper, and would have to call. We finally stopped getting all but Sunday.

And good for you for quitting. Your kids will thank you.

-Redbaron responds – Yes, it was thinking of the children that did it, being overweight and drinking too much tempts fate enough, the fags as well was really pushing my luck.-

comment added :: 22nd February 2006, 16:30 GMT+01
Haddock made this comment,
Can’t we just round up all the really annoying feckers into a field and bomb the bastards! 🙂
-Redbaron responds – Ooh, now there is a plan! Can you get the Fatherland to lend us a Leopard or we’ll have a look for a Russian tank on ebay!-

comment added :: 23rd February 2006, 09:53 GMT+01 ::
john made this comment,
I’d blame it all on those MI5 blokes outside your house Baron. They probably piss on your Morning Star before they shove it half way through your letter box.
-Redbaron responds – Damn, I always wondered why the Morning Star was delivered by men in suits with shades on!-

comment added :: 24th February 2006, 15:35 GMT+01 ::
Mark Ellott made this comment,
Have you noticed that all those retrospective dramas involve lots of puffing away on fags? Don’t see it in modern drama – it’s just not done.
PS – please note the new URL

comment added :: 26th February 2006, 20:01 GMT+01 ::