It still never ceases to amaze me the sort of stuff that is out there, scary, weird or just plain shite. They have amused me for some time and this is probably the last selection I will do. Go forth my children find the crap that is out there and publicise it for wider ridicule!
Eulenspygel 2
Everything about this is just wrong wrong wrong! I could make a comment about out of the frying pan…etc but frankly I just feel ill and breakfast is looking considerably less appetising!
Orion – Reborn
Bless his little cotton socks, he’s trying so hard to be “reborn” but in all seriousness Orion isn’t fooling anyone behind that camp mask and equally camp pose, I mean wearing that ensemble it could only be one man. Been a while since we saw partings that low too!
Swamp Dogg – If I Ever Kiss It, He Can Kiss It Goodbye
Another offering from Snoop’s Dad proving that like father like son he ain’t going for none of that homo shizzle!
Boned – Up At The Crack
Bit of Morning Glory going on for Boned here, that’s got to chafe a bit, and you ain’t getting that back inside those tight strides
Stryken – First Strike
Ah the 80s where men weren’t afraid to dress in spandex even if it made them look like dodgy wankers! With the benefit of hindsight, Stryken probably wish that they’d been on strike when it came to making the album cover.
The Handsome Beasts – Beastiality
Yer man certainly isn’t looking to feed the pig, he has other things on his mind and the album title leaves us in no doubt as to what this is. The fat hog looks pretty pleased with himself and the pig seems quite up for it too.
The Handsome Beasts – 04
The Handsome Beasts again, yer man has got a little older, and presumably shaved his beard so as to escape the cops and farmers who be out for him, he’s still a bit of a pig fancier, tho’ he’s developed a bit of a habit (sorry!) for nuns in lingerie now and I think if he tries anything saucy on the doberman he’ll get more than he bargained for!
Heino – Liebe Mutter
[Shudder] Heino is a very very scary man. If I were his Mother I’d be very very afraid, you get the feeling those roses are likely to be the last thing she sees. For the non-German speakers the blue sticker says “A Present For The Whole Year”. This is not a consoling statement.
I really don’t need to step in here do I?! It’s how Paddy is ascertaining just which are the dogs he’s singing for that concerns me!
Elliot Lawrence & His Orchestra – Music For Trapping
There was after all a surfeit of your bog standard serial killers in the 60s, but Elliot was a pioneer and in the 50s there seemed to be a gap in the market for decapitation and mounting. Something of an amateur chemist Elliot perfected the procedure known as botox injections in order to preserve the smiles on his victims.
Fundamental – Erotic Terrorism
Erotic terrorism was a new one on me but Fundie’s got a big weapon and he’s looking for an opportunity to use it.
Music To Light Your Pilot By
It’s a gas! (Sorry!). Dave Lee Travis here got hold of the wrong end of the stick entirely and his missus who’s been freezing her arse off since the heating went off has just bloody had enough and is going to throttle him with his scarf.
Chicken – Coup De Ville
Nice to see some of the shortlisted guys for the Darwin awards spreading their career net out. Chicken here had the hairstyle and the politics right, but when it came to the pink car with a French name the locals regarded him as something of a homo and potentially a book-reader and he was run out of town. Last seen clearing tables in an Alabama Theme Restaurant in San Fransisco.
The Stanley Johnson Orchestra – Have Harp, Can’t Travel
What a bunch of lads eh, that Stanley Johnson lot, they’re a hoot, ‘course Paddy O’Shaunnessy here didn’t see the humour, he was under the impression that his role in the percussion group was to play the triangle until he turned up for the tour bus to find he got what was left.
Milk Man – Deerhoof
Obviously since Pac Man work has dried up a little for the ghost population they’ve been forced to resort to desperate measures, but I think the market for games machine violent fruit porn is somewhat limited!
Song Of The Day ~ Arctic Monkeys – From The Ritz To The Rubble
RED BARON'S WORDS 
I’m fairly sure that the man in “Fundamental – Erotic Terrorism” worked as a cook at our house some time in the early 1980s.
A gypsy curse on your head for that, beastly image (scrubs eyes with steel wool)
I dunno which grubby Soho record shops you frequent, really I don’t.
Chicken has a vaguely-Mark-like look about him, which probably more than illustrates why I’m so keen to reject his advances 😉
My son is really a good one, last year i was allowed to leave the basement. I was bonded to the refrigator, while he was cleaning up my cave.