Tag Archive: album covers

It’s been a bit of a shit time all in all Chez Baron and there are political rumblings currently in draft at the current atrocities going on in the Middle East and the media shutouts around the world.  However in an effort to raise spirits a little before wading back into the genocidal mire I decided to have a look to see if there had been any other uncovering of some of the weird and wonderful album covers such as I had milked for some mileage some time ago.

Lo and behold:

[Start here for a recap of Volumes 1 – 5 if you wish].

Alice In Wonderland


The Lyn Murray Singers And Orchestra – Alice In Wonderland

Well this is a good place to start – I mean what the hell is going on, there’s no doubt that the Mad Hatter and the White Rabbit are planning something in that teapot and it looks like Alice knows exactly what it is she’d better hope they are just Jihadists wanting her as a hostage!














The Gentlemen Four – We’ll Be Seeing You

Outsourcing really is de rigeur these days and Death has got this small firm to take over the running of things for him whilst he takes it easy for a while.  However unlike a great deal of outsourcing companies who are just in it to provide as shite a service for as much money as they can glean it looks rather like the gentlemen here will pursue their work with some zeal!


strip to hits













Yep I have to say this one may well be right on the button I think I can state with some impunity that stripping was not on the mind of the Bee Gees when they wrote ‘New York Mining Disaster 1941’ and ‘You’re Having My Baby’ really is going to be quite a passion killer, though I think you could work with ‘The Imperial March’ and if you can’t get double entendre mileage out of ‘Born Free’ then you really aren’t trying!















Heino is back, you knew he would be, remember him, of course you do, he’s been haunting your dreams hasn’t he?!  However this is the new smilier Heino, he seems happier now that he has successfully bumped off his mother though it looks as if he lost his right arm in the process and was forced to replace it with that of a chair.  I still don’t want him round for dinner that smile suggests that he isn’t stopping just with mother and that he has merely obtained a darker pair of glasses as a better disguise.














The McDonald Sisters – I’ve Got Confidence

And I’ve got my doors locked and the police on standby!


wayne miami












Wayne Cochran –  Goin’ Back To Miami

Seriously Wayne really don’t do that, the place has changed man, it’s not your kind of town anymore they won’t understand your brand of sartorial expression, they’ll string you up, or worse they’ll douse your hair!














Sam Sacks – Sing It Again, Sam!

I am prepared to wager good money that ‘inimitable’ is not the first adjective that would come to mind when listening to Sam’s probably unique butchering of your favourite hits.














Foster Edwards Orchestra – What’s Next?

Ok you got me I cannot begin to imagine the answer, trouble is I’m really not sure I even want to know, a leopard on bass, wildebeest on rhythm guitar, it surely can’t end well!














Børud-Gjengen – I Farta

Most people at least try to keep it to themselves, is the older boy a bully pushing the small kid toward the stench in an attempt to woo the flatulent girl or is he trying some sort of corking arrangement on the stinky little toad?



Cody Matheson – Can I Borrow Another Feelin’?

Look familiar? No, Cody hasn’t weathered very well has he?!  After his lengthy stay in the penitentiary Cody came out a little more savvy, ditching the Village People moustache and growing the mullet to end all mullets.  Note he is still using the same MO to try to come in to your home, you should still keep the doors locked and well away from the windows!














‘Twas The Night Before Bronson

Indeed, the night before Santa Bronson came in after a burglar and shot your dog, the tree and one of the kids.  Merry Christmas!

Song Of The Day ~ Ultimate Painting – Ultimate Painting




It still never ceases to amaze me the sort of stuff that is out there, scary, weird or just plain shite. They have amused me for some time and this is probably the last selection I will do. Go forth my children find the crap that is out there and publicise it for wider ridicule!


Eulenspygel 2

Everything about this is just wrong wrong wrong! I could make a comment about out of the frying pan…etc but frankly I just feel ill and breakfast is looking considerably less appetising!


Orion – Reborn

Bless his little cotton socks, he’s trying so hard to be “reborn” but in all seriousness Orion isn’t fooling anyone behind that camp mask and equally camp pose, I mean wearing that ensemble it could only be one man. Been a while since we saw partings that low too!

Swampp Dogg 2

Swamp Dogg – If I Ever Kiss It, He Can Kiss It Goodbye

Another offering from Snoop’s Dad proving that like father like son he ain’t going for none of that homo shizzle!


Boned – Up At The Crack

Bit of Morning Glory going on for Boned here, that’s got to chafe a bit, and you ain’t getting that back inside those tight strides


Stryken – First Strike

Ah the 80s where men weren’t afraid to dress in spandex even if it made them look like dodgy wankers! With the benefit of hindsight, Stryken probably wish that they’d been on strike when it came to making the album cover.


The Handsome Beasts – Beastiality

Yer man certainly isn’t looking to feed the pig, he has other things on his mind and the album title leaves us in no doubt as to what this is. The fat hog looks pretty pleased with himself and the pig seems quite up for it too.


The Handsome Beasts – 04

The Handsome Beasts again, yer man has got a little older, and presumably shaved his beard so as to escape the cops and farmers who be out for him, he’s still a bit of a pig fancier, tho’ he’s developed a bit of a habit (sorry!) for nuns in lingerie now and I think if he tries anything saucy on the doberman he’ll get more than he bargained for!


Heino – Liebe Mutter

[Shudder] Heino is a very very scary man. If I were his Mother I’d be very very afraid, you get the feeling those roses are likely to be the last thing she sees. For the non-German speakers the blue sticker says “A Present For The Whole Year”. This is not a consoling statement.


I really don’t need to step in here do I?! It’s how Paddy is ascertaining just which are the dogs he’s singing for that concerns me!


Elliot Lawrence & His Orchestra – Music For Trapping

There was after all a surfeit of your bog standard serial killers in the 60s, but Elliot was a pioneer and in the 50s there seemed to be a gap in the market for decapitation and mounting. Something of an amateur chemist Elliot perfected the procedure known as botox injections in order to preserve the smiles on his victims.


Fundamental – Erotic Terrorism

Erotic terrorism was a new one on me but Fundie’s got a big weapon and he’s looking for an opportunity to use it.


Music To Light Your Pilot By

It’s a gas! (Sorry!). Dave Lee Travis here got hold of the wrong end of the stick entirely and his missus who’s been freezing her arse off since the heating went off has just bloody had enough and is going to throttle him with his scarf.


Chicken – Coup De Ville

Nice to see some of the shortlisted guys for the Darwin awards spreading their career net out. Chicken here had the hairstyle and the politics right, but when it came to the pink car with a French name the locals regarded him as something of a homo and potentially a book-reader and he was run out of town. Last seen clearing tables in an Alabama Theme Restaurant in San Fransisco.


The Stanley Johnson Orchestra – Have Harp, Can’t Travel

What a bunch of lads eh, that Stanley Johnson lot, they’re a hoot, ‘course Paddy O’Shaunnessy here didn’t see the humour, he was under the impression that his role in the percussion group was to play the triangle until he turned up for the tour bus to find he got what was left.


Milk Man – Deerhoof

Obviously since Pac Man work has dried up a little for the ghost population they’ve been forced to resort to desperate measures, but I think the market for games machine violent fruit porn is somewhat limited!

Song Of The Day ~ Arctic Monkeys – From The Ritz To The Rubble

The Original Dodgy LPs

Sixth Dodgy LPs


Jimmy Jenson – Understand Your’e Swede… – And therefore allowed, nay obliged to make grammatical mistakes. Jimmy’s returned home, don’t ask what he’s got in the bag, but the family are a child  down!

The Addicts Sing – Lively bunch of lads the addicts, make sure you pay them for their time or things might get nasty!

pooh man

Pooh-Man (MC Pooh) – Funky As I Wanna Be – I’m getting the distinct impression that MC Pooh is not so named on account of his great love for AA Milne. That being said since he does look like he’s being born again literally, anything is possible. That has to hurt though he’s a big lad!


Herbie Mann – Push Push – Ah now, if Herbie speaks to MC Pooh there I get the feeling he may well be able to push push that flute somewhere inventive.


The Love And Terror Cult – Lie – Those of a nervous disposition look away now, bugger too late. Now would I be right in thinking that there’s a great deal more terror in the cult, the lie in question therefore being the love in the title of the group, someone call Trading Standards, don’t look into the eyes seriously  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!


The Best Of The Singing Postman – Thank Christ this is the best of, can you even imagine what we might have had to listen to on Postie’s debut album?


Mike Adkins – Thank You For The Dove – Yeah thanks for the sodding dove, it shat everywhere, here you can have it back now. Peace, I’ll give it a fecking piece of something. Pull!


David Ingles – Satan Has Been Paralysed – David aka “The Horned One” doesn’t appear to recognise the irony of his own set design, either that or he’s currently too paralysed to do anything about it.


The Amason Twins – Hallelujah – The Lord’s Coming Again – Halle-bloody-lujah, you’re joking those are the shittest Amazons I’ve ever seen, I mean there’s no attention to detail at all. It’s like looking at the Fat Proclaimers. If I were the Lord I’d be coming to shut Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee up once and for all.


Little David And Family – I Feel Like Travelling On – You can’t really blame Little David for dying to get out, look what the fuckers have done to his hair, he appears to be attempting to violate the little girl in the last vain hope that they might at least send him to borstal.


Red Foxx – Wash Your Ass – Leaving aside the obvious question of how Redd imagines the cow is going to wash its arse what I want to know is why he wants the cow to wash it, what the fuck has he got planned for it that requires that level of sanitation…? Oh sweet diddly fuck no, not that…

Song Of The Day ~My Bloody Valentine – Only Shallow

Those companieros from my old Blog-City days may remember a series I started on dodgy album covers. I wrote 2 entries on some of the weirdest and scariest covers out there No. 1 and No. 2 and yet there were many that didn’t make the original cut, and since I’d had to look at them and endure the ensuing nightmares I didn’t see why you should get away scott free! So here’s my 3rd offering:

Something Special From Jeff
The original Dr. Hook, a lot of people missed Abu Hamza’s short-lived pop career before he went on to radical Islam. However Hamza decided that he’d have to drop the name Jeff if he was to be taken seriously.

Music For Half-Assed Friends
Yeah, fuck ’em, half-arsed bastards, quite right too.

Gerhard Polt – Leberkaes Hawaii
Gerhard was keen to prove he wasn’t just a ham actor and bring home the bacon. Sadly because of the nature of the decapitation for the album cover opportunities became scarcer for the headless Gerhard, who was described as being somewhat wooden.

Jim Post – I Love My Life
Jim wants you to come and play, he likes watersports and the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche.

Mike Terry – Live At The Pavilion Theatre Glasgow
Sadly Mike only did the one gig at the Pavilion Theatre Glasgow, the locals didn’t take to his particular brand of entertainment and an unpleasant scene ensued.

Cex – Actual Fucking
It in fact this picture that made Tron guy think he might one day get laid. Cex’s subtlety in their name and the coyness of the album cover was ruined by some berk at the record company deciding the title should be called Actual Fucking.

CX Kidtronik – Krak Attack
Kidtronik decided when someone said his music was a bunch of arse to make something of a theme of the fact.

Demolition Doll Rods – There Is A Difference
Indeed so, vive la deferens!

Mecca Normal – The Observer
It’s true to say Mecca is anything but normal, but she is watching you…

Whirlwind Heat – Types Of Wood
I think you’ll find dear that is the wrong type of wood to do that to, you’ll get nasty splinters you see if you don’t.


Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for equal opportunities but I can’t help feeling that not having any hands may be a quite genuine physiognomical impediment to playing the organ, at least if one is to render any tune from it.

karatist preacher

Mike found that his way of breaking the communion bread was a popular novelty, people still complained it was a bit too gritty and difficult to swallow.

christian crusaders

The Christian Crusaders are a flamboyant and charismatic bunch and if you don’t adhere to the message then the lad will sit on you.


Cody claims he’s just come to borrow a feeling, DO NOT LET HIM IN YOUR HOUSE!

Song Of The Day ~Longpigs – Far

Dodgy LPs

Further Dodgy LPs

Fourth Dodgy LPs

Fifth Dodgy LPs

Having seen Fred Zeppelin’s Top 2
Devastatin’ Dave
“Don’t mess with Dave he’s devastatin”
“This is Tino, he wants to be your friend!”

I think Devastatin’ Dave the Turntable Slave and the very disturbing Tino are tough to beat, but here are my submissions. There’s a common theme with a number of them and they bring the question to mind ‘you think Islam has a funny position on music?’ You may have seen some if not all of these before but I hadn’t and I was feeling acerbic so the comments are all mine. I hope you enjoy reading them, I certainly had a laugh composing flippant remarks.

Aubrey Ghent & Friends
Aubrey Ghent & Friends- Can’t Nobody Do Me Like Jesus
Poor Aubrey found it tough to shake off the unfounded allegations of necrophilia after this album came out, it explains why in the photoshoot for the cover he only had one friend left.

Millie Jackson
Millie Jackson – Back to the Shit
Oh I know how she feels but looking at Millie and some of her other album covers one wonders whether she was ever away from the shit in the first place.

The Louvin Brothers
The Louvin Brothers – Satan is Real
Now, I wasn’t sure whether this was an album cover or a newflash, I’m tempted to say it’s hot stuff whichever! Evidently this was The Louvin Brother’s second posthumous album recorded from beyond the grave. it is comforting to know that they ended up where they belonged.

Country Church
Country Church
Run Dougal, Run, quite fast, quite fast!

Geraldine & Ricky
Geraldine & Ricky – Trees Talk Too
An interesting one this one a wooden singer and the other a ventriloquist dummy, the embodyment of their albums name. That being said they are obviously from one of the nasty haunted forests you always used to read about.

The Cooper Family
The Cooper Family -I’m God’s Child
Jesus’ Illegitimate siblings, what an advert for divine parentage they are. They’ll be Damascine conversions all over the world! Who’s the geezer there tho’ it can’t surely be Him well bugger me!

Happy Louie, Julia & The Boys
Happy Louie, Julia & The Boys -Lots of Love and Peace
Louie’s just happy because he got to Julia first, the boys get sloppy seconds, Julia’s not choosy and she’s even wearing her easy access skirt for the occasion, what a gal!

Nelson – Because they can
I wasn’t sure what to make of this one either -the picture of dogs and ‘Because they can’ is this an auto blow job reference or alluding to that fact that Nelson can pass for dogs, I know not.

Father White
Father Robert White – Reverend in Rythym
Oh yes the good old days of pastoral care, Reverend in rythym -rythym musically or rythym method he doesn’t make this clear but you know that pipe has been places you don’t want to even think about, and judging by his expression the good Father is thinking about them right now. He wants you to join his flock.

Bruce Yelton & Upbound
Butch Yelton & Upbound – Swing that gospel axe.
It’s Judgement Day down on the ranch. One presumes Butch is the one yielding the gospel axe and by the looks of his Simon Bates meets Hank Marvin appearance Upbound are about find out whether they live up to their name sooner than they might have expected. Looking at them this may come under the heading of a mercy killing, just so long as Butch is removed from society afterwards everyone’ll be happy.

USAF Sound Effects
Sound Effects – US Airforce Firepower
A reentry to the charts due to the sales in Baghdad it was of course a smash hit first time around in Vietnam. Relive those war sounds all over again, play with your friends the “Who can spot the B-52 noise” For the Baghdad listener this is an invaluable reference tool spin the disk up when you hear the airraid warnings and you too can predetirmine exactly which piece of hardware is responsible for totalling your village.

Music For Hubby
Music to keep your husband happy
Oh yes, hot ‘n’ steamy stuff, can’t you just feel the sex? There was life in the days before Viagra. And you wonder why your Grandad could be a miserable old git?

Freddie Gage
Freddie Gage -All My Friends are Dead
My personal favourite, the question is was Freddie directly responsible for all his friends being dead or was it just a sad coincidence. Those boots can’t have helped, nor his penchant for hanging around graveyards.

Lt Larry Blocker
2nd Lt. Larry Blocker – I Found the Answer
Looking like that one wonders what the hell Larry thought the question was.

If The Bomb Falls
If The Bomb Falls
Now this was a real family favourite, everyone gathering round after Sunday roast and chatting about the apocalypse, when a demented madman had his finger on the button, happy days eh?

Surprisingly enough Joyce is still looking for love and has price frozen herself at 50c in an effort to attract it.

More Dodgy LPs

Original Comments:

A visitor made this comment,
I’m going to have nightmares now thanks to you.

comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-07 02:24:45’} GMT+01

A visitor made this comment,
do these shits really exist?
heck. i swear, if i’d seen one, it’ll go down the fire immediately. these are killers!!!


comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-07 02:55:41′} GMT+01

haywood made this comment,
Those Louvin bros’ give me the FEAR.
I like where you put the banner, i think it works well there.
okay back to drawing up a charter for the blog alliance.
Haywood AKA… well i have to many to name

Visit me @ http://cjh9999.blog-city.com

comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-07 04:46:56’} GMT+01

ale2000 made this comment,
hey redbaron- thanks for being my first commenter. i’m actually far from being done with the phd since on average- it takes about 5-6 years to complete. i just finished the first year…although i still have loads of work to do even before i can even say i’m done this semester.
comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-07 16:34:44’} GMT+01

Lizard Breath made this comment,
ok – I shall not sleep for at least 2 – maybe even 3 days now….eewwwww

comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-07 21:28:41’} GMT+01

A visitor made this comment,
ummm . . . I can explain the Nelson album cover if you’d like . . . scary but true . . .

comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-14 05:32:28’} GMT+01

A visitor made this comment,
Thank you. Seriously, I laughed out loud at all of these.

comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-24 09:11:25’} GMT+01

A visitor made this comment,
oh such classics you have there!! now listen, i was wondering if i could ask a small favour and steal the ‘music to keep your husband happy’ jpg?
i would of course publicly credit you as the source. whaddya say boyo? whaddya say??



comment added :: {ts ‘2004-06-20 20:02:04’} GMT+01

Jon Wicker made this comment,
This is great. Where did you find all of these? Too many long hours on the internet?
[Redbaron responds – Yeah that and a mispent youth in record shops so I know these things actually exist!]

comment added :: {ts ‘2004-08-09 02:23:51’} GMT+01

Dave Knybel made this comment,
These are great!
comment added :: {ts ‘2007-02-21 03:03:12’} GMT+01